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October 20th, 2005
11:16 pm
yay today was a good day...a good day indeed.im too tired to write more but i feel as though things are better..not that they were so bad...but yeah all is well. this week is OVER!!!!!!!!!!! and thank god for the wekkend
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October 15th, 2005
09:51 am - The Biggest rick in life is not taking one-i found the quote
why can somthing that seems so right to me be so wrong........
seriously why cant it be right
im sick of this happening to me.
i just thought hoped...idk...somehow im listing to dashobord agains
sry im being so emo -dont worry im not on the side with thouse crazy drunk emo kids we busted lst night haha
buuut i mean come on
This is easy as lovers go. So dont complicate it by hesitating.
This is wonderful as loving goes.
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?
so what the fucks going on??????
If you don't don't know, why'd you say so?
Would you mean this, please if it happens?
If you don’t know, Why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight
i hate hypocritical statements.
o and if u say u hate insinsarity then why was sunday so much fun
........psh im leaving now.
haha back with an edit (thanks betsy)
So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me
thats why this time IS differnt....and thats why im so confused...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/grumpy_sg.gif) frustrated
Current Music: Dashboard siggghhhhh
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October 8th, 2005
11:50 am
huh so its 11 50am and i just finished a book...haha im a dork but really like ealier this week holly made an allusion to the book the giver in english class and i realized dispite how many times i was told i would love the book when i was younger i never picked it up and aucutally read it. i love every other book by lois lowery i read but for somereadon the giver scared me. i knew i would read it when i was ready but i wasnt sure why i felt that was. so yesterday i picked it up and strted to read. and you know what that book is amazing.
i just wanted to say how much i care about all you guys. wheater were friends now or used to be i wont forget the memories EVER. i know a lot is baout to change and if it doesnt suddenly ill look back on the person who wrote thins next year and think about how much i had to learn. i have no clue if that makes sence. but whateever i was thinking about this a lot last night when betsy and i realized that its been exactly 5 years since the day we bevcame friends
5 years
thats crazzzzyy
theres been soo mcuh and god so much has happened duing that time but were still close and even though weve bothe changed we can talk i never 5 years ago would have expected us not to be friends now..but really i look back and i realize its been pretty amazing.
it was weird cause last night i hung out with betsy and liv betsy who ive known for like ever and liv who ive never hug outside of school/vball before. but i must admit it was quite fun..
i dont like knowing that the past is gone..that i cant go back and re live all the blissful moments i used to have.all the care free times. but i wont forget them..and i wont forget you eaither...any of you..i love you sooooo much..thanks for the memories..sasha
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October 6th, 2005
09:20 pm
ok so this week has been a crazy emotional roller coster i ahve no idea what the fuck to believe anymore but if in the end its all ok does it really matter? i thought everythign was as shitty as it could get. i look back on my mind set on mon night and laugh..what was i thinking. i need to learn to trust others more and i think more importantly trust my self....but ya so things on the friedns front seem pretty good. school front doesnt suck to bad even though im procrationating ap us even more but whats new. and on guy front welll....nothing yet but who knows? im ok with life right now and thats all that matters right. indeed. whatch this sundden contentness last ooo 5 min. but whatever as long as its here now right. ok back to you us. wish me luck i realllly dotn want to do this now.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/mellow_sg.gif) content
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October 3rd, 2005
11:21 pm - happy f-ing new year
ok so things werent perfect but at least i had the really good to balence out the really bad...and now what? it all came crashign down on me. i need to never ever let my emotions get the better of me like this. i jsut feel so helpless and hopelss and resonsible. i dont know what to do. and theres only 1 person i want to tlka to about each situation but its the person the other situations about. i know this makes no sence and im sorry i just need to ..vent. sigh...lets just say im confused with a shit load of work todo tonight.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/sad_sg.gif) crushed
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October 2nd, 2005
06:36 pm
god this weekend was soooo weird...ive been looking forward to it forever and you know a lot of it was GREAT like byond great but in all it wasntthe perfect blissful weekend i had expected but it was indeed mucho fun.
Fri
+LUDO Show!!
+New CD!
+jill came!
+yummy pizza
-really tired
-left early
-kinda blaish
Sat
+EMILY WAS IN TOWN!!!!!!!
+ shopping with jill z and jon with em
+ toys r us
+tosted ravs
+Seeing everyone at Jays
+swimming
-mall hopping
-me being bitchy
-drama
-saying goodbye to em
Sun
+ sunday school was fun?
+ chinease food in the park
+ Proof!!!
+ hanging out with jake:)
~playing with white plastic goats and eating chinease food always makes my day
- lots of hw
-beating my self up about ..idk
-not being able to draw....
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/green/silly_sg.gif) all american rejects
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September 25th, 2005
10:05 pm
im not sure y im so darn hapyy if its sun night at 10 pm and i havnt completed any of the hw due last fiday...o well.and my weeked is already booked im sooooo glad im not going to chicago i love the vollyball team more than anything but this weekend is going to kck major ass i cant wait. emily;s comming in town and the ludo show like omfg and if i get to see proof on sunday to then this weekend will like make my life. haha i think its funnt hat after spending friday ngiht at the ozarks all i can tlak about is nect weekend. YLSL was a ton of fun its really cool metting new people its different than jew fest though but still nice really nice/ its going to be a good year...so ok back to physics o boy
Current Mood: smily
Current Music: broken bride
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September 12th, 2005
10:38 pm
ok felt like another update was needed...i feel better now idk today was just weird...i got to talk to jenny for awhile which was reallllly needed. i still stressed about school and what not but who isnt? so yeah. jenny helped a lot. i thought she like was pissed but that was in my head..god i think waaay too much. ok i love you all thanks...
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06:46 pm
ahhhh so frustrated. i dont know what to do. i hate this i hate this so very much. i dont want to be here. i want to be by my creek alone, looking at the mountains cuddled in my sweatshirt. just looking, breathing. it was perfect.... such a beautiful spot. my mind was soo clear. and then after i was surrounded by like tons of the most amazing people. like in LA i had 10 SUPER close friends.. but at LTI there clicks were gone ive never been anywhere like it.. and dont worry dan they didnt compare to you, but still it was nice to know that everyone was there for you. they all knew your name and auctualy cared. soo many people asked me if i was better (i was sick) and like vistied me in the rest cabin for the o 2 hours i was there like as soon as they found out they cared. at school i walk down halls with tons of faces kids who have know me for 5 years. they dont care. like sure i know a select group of you do and i dont know what i would do without you guys.. but like i dont feel welcome there anymore. im streesed and confused and i hate it. esp french esp the 4 tests this week and however many fucking essays....
But if you left it up to me
Everyday would be
A holiday from real
We'd waste our weeks
Beneath the sun
We'd fry our brains
And say it's so much fun out here
But when it's all over
I'll come back for another year
o and i want to thank mitch and christina securo for aking my day a hella lot better for the rest of you sory i was eaither A) a complte bitch or B) some freek who was super hyper yeah i was odd. i just want to get away.
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September 8th, 2005
06:41 pm
college thing today was weird..cant believe im thinking about this now..ugh...yeah it brought back ucla memories too...cant we just all go back there?
sigh
this time tomorrow ill be at LTI aka colorado for jewish leadership thing i cant wait im soooooo excited so yeah dont miss me too much lol xoxo sash
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August 28th, 2005
04:30 pm
how can it not be september and i have 3 things secuduled for April 22nd. like how the hell? its soo fucking crazy im soo pissed..it just shows how stressful this year is going to be. sigh so PROM ....Spring chavarah! and Adam Bar Mitzvoh and we all know that adam wins this more than eaither of the other too. but ya ill make it to part of prom..hell be with his friends neway but liek all familys going to be intown and such but god i cant believe hes going to be that old! hes a 7th grader..thats like peck of middle school of weirdness god hes going to be in high school in two years what will happen then..i guess ill be gone. i guess im more upset that hes going to be bar mitzvohed than i am when it is. but yeah at least it makes the choice of which state im going to be in cause theres nooo way im going to nabraska. i cant believe that school starts tomorrow..why does time fly so fast. its been an amazing summer filled with amazing people and everyone whos been part of it thanks...i love you Sash
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August 22nd, 2005
11:57 am
"Wouldn't it be perfect if sweatpants were sexy...Mondays were fun...junk food didn't make you fat...girls didn't cause drama...boys weren't so confusing...nothing was regrettable...you didn't have to lose the people you love...friendships didn't fade...and goodbye only meant until tomorrow..."
sigh...wouldn't life be nice......
but its not like that. it isnt what it seams..it was picture perfect and i will always remember it that way. but secrets are out. they hurt a lot. i dont want to look back and see those 3 weeks were just a fucking lie. i dont think they were. ok i know they werent. but how much was? i need to stop thinking of it. thinking of faults makes it easier that you guys arnt here right now. and i miss you all of you for a reason or another cause those 3 weeks was an hella amazing time no matter what
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August 21st, 2005
11:36 pm
yeah so if tonight was the last night of summer everything would be perfect.
dispite the fact that i woulndn't have done summer reading
it would be perfect.
but its not and thank god for that. o silly jewishness ;)
Current Mood: giddy
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August 20th, 2005
01:02 am
dude tonight fully kicked ass...ive decided i miss forth grade muchly. so yeah i babysat for 2 10 yearolds having a sleepover. we had a full on shaving cream fight in the hair and everything then jumped in the pool with our cloths on. backed chocolate chip miffins (OH MY GOD) and like made duct tape wallets. im such a kick ass bbsitter lol. so yeah i got 50 dollers for like having a good time. is that bad...im really not a responsible person. o well. goongiht all. carpe noctum.
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August 19th, 2005
06:27 pm
ggih things are weird im not sure why but like this kid ya know i met him once thought id nevr hear from him again then we tlak alllll freekin year through emails and now hes back.....i dont know what to feel i think everyone is shaping what our relationship should be but the thing is i know by the time i figure it out for my slef hell be gone...all thats left is this weekend and it sure could be an interesting one. lifes what you make of it....what do i want?
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August 18th, 2005
09:34 am
i was so f-ing miserabe last night...idk it was weird i hate being here i just dont like being home.it was weird though causei love the people here sooo mcuh but there there was just this sence of freedom and i like loyalty idk i felt more complete here i just feel so alone. i was tlaking to like nora dan and nathan it helped a shit load its was weird cause we had 3 complete different problems and situations well not me and dan but ya know and we all related really really well. i think it like the losing poeple with school lurking over. that whole thought of school and loss of summer thing is killing us all. where did the summer go i mean wtf. its just like poof gone. i want it again. esp. LA i like emilys idea of all meeting in iwoa. im not sure what to do in iwoa but i kknow we could have some pretty intence games of rapeball;) yeah so thanks to the peope who made last night bearable. it meant a lot to me. so ya thanks i love you. Sasha
i just wish *you* woulnt hate me.......cause i know you undersatnd.....
Current Music: page ave..whats new
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August 17th, 2005
12:25 am
i cant believe im home...3 weeks gone so fucking fast i cant believe it. i like blinked and it was over. god i miss those people so much and not like the big things but its all the little ones i miss...dans stop sign song. alex's "holler" SPANISH..all the jew jokes..zach not there when i come back from my shower or banging on the door to wake us up. dancing to jimmy eat world at 2 in the morning. the long walks to photo class with alex and chris discusing hamburgers that alex forcered herself to eat. buring jermary with help from that 6 year old with a mohawk. long talks with dan and his o so soft shirt. I am a banana! my spoon is too big. long bus rides with jeremy..dude i miss it all. why arnt you guys here? i just dont understand why all the amazing poeple i meet have to live so far away. and i dont mean this to offed my st. louis friends cause i love you guys but the last 3 weeeks were so amazing and intence. im so glad we all found eachother cause it fully rocked. i love you guys and miss you lots..call anytime id be more than happy to hear from you..much love sasha
And we laugh till we cry
Always so hard to say goodbye (good bye)
It's so good like this, these are times we'll miss
The memories, I hope will never fade
Current Music: Last Sumemr~lp
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August 8th, 2005
04:28 pm - 17!?!?
Dude you guys by birthday fully rocked. Merci to jenny who like got everyone in like the entire world to call and wish me happy birthday cause it was like magical. it statrted with like disneyland the night before which is indeed the most amazing place on earth. dude i saw kyle from the curise how fucked up is that? then fireworks and liek at midnight jermary running down the hall screaming happybirthday followed buy like 5 guys seranding me with happy birthday and jon playing gutier. lots of fudge and jermary getting panced...dan and him then in the shower...i mean come on what better way to be 17 then by haning out with one of you best friends ever (jill) and like a group of guys at 1 in the moring. psh beats me. so the next day we went to the beach (i was on my phone the whoooole way there) played some kick ass volley ball damn we all sucked and ate frozen bananas hehe dont ask. then hmm what next went home did laundrey which was auctually hella tight and then had 15 people in our room and devowered like 5 pizzas and just had a great time. it was really nice. i love these people its going to be so hard to leave here. sigh. ok ill write more later. xoxxox sash
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July 28th, 2005
11:05 am - hi
ok last night so much fun we went to the dogers game..noe of us saw like anyof it. we ditched the group and sat in the very last row and hung out the entire time. ahh jill with the cotten cady tree. yes so group was great we met some cool kids on the bus ride there which was cool. then we had like 10 people in our dorm music and food was quite the party. dude we rock like last 2 days have been so alike awesome. ok dude just called me got to meet for lunch well tlak more tomorrow
xoxox
sash
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July 27th, 2005
03:06 pm
ok so everything was like a COMPLETE 180 from yesterday so sorry if i sounded like this thing was bad it was just like a bad hour lol. last night was soooooo fun we found a good group and its the same group for like both me and jill which is super sweet. its a lot of fun im really looking forward to like the next few weeks..its going to be good. ttyl sash
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